Always the groomsman never the groom.
We lets see here, I’ve been a “Best Man” four different times, met some awesome bridesmaids, drank in many churches, made some Oscar winning toasts, and caught countless garters; but I have yet to be the groom. I often wonder why that is. I know and have dated some of the most incredible women on the planet but I still haven’t settled down. It’s weird, I’m even still friends with most all my exes, even though almost all of them have moved on an gotten married. I’m not sure why I’m one of the last bachelor’s in my peer group?
But I think I have an answer: I’m afraid of commitment. Here’s why.
How do you know she’s the “Right One?” I do have regrets maybe one or two that got away could have been “The One” but hind-sight is always twenty-twenty and you forget how annoying someone is when their not around.
Marriage; its huge decision that I’m not sure I’m capable of making. I know that sounds stupid and many people will think I’ve made bigger decisions in other aspects that’ll affect the rest of my life; yet I balk at this decision. I’ve seen so many marriages end in divorce or even worse they just get drawn out over time and it scares the shit out of me. I know that sometimes a divorce is the best choice a person or two people can ever make in their lives. But am I just optioning to not make the previous decision so I’ll never have to choose the decision of divorce?
I honestly think it’s all in my head but I don’t believe in the one marriage lasting a life time tradition anymore. I don’t know if true love like that really exists anymore. I don’t really have any facts to go off of here but just take a look around society these days. There are 24 year olds on their third marriage or there’s 50 year olds taking the oath for the first time. To be honest I’d like to settle down and start a family sometime before age 50, but hell by then is it even worth it? The honeymoon would be a night of Bingo and Viagra.
True love is still out there but I think over the years the strict values of monogamy have been tarnished. People get married for the wrong reasons and don’t fully understand the “In sickness and health, good times and bad” part of the vows. Our grandparents did, that’s why now of days you see couples celebrating their 50th or 75th wedding anniversary. But in fifty years you won’t see that from our generation, instead you’ll see headlines like, “5th time was really a charm” and “Lucky kids finally got it right ten years ago today!”
That’s what the world is coming too. I don’t know the reasons for it but it could be blamed on anything these days. I do think TV has something to do with it as well as the lack of people who regularly attend church. TV has made a mockery of the values and traditions that go into a marriage. Almost to the point that the more ex-husbands or ex-wives you have the better. In the olden days people went to church every Sunday and believed everything the preacher said and held those values close to their hearts.
Now of days people hold their wallets and their IPODs close to their hearts and put material possessions in front of morals and values. Is it because those items determine their social status and that’s what they think will make them happy? Yes. I know people these days; because of TV; put these things in front of everything so they can fit in. Rewind 40 to 50 years ago; people with failing marriages were frowned upon. The newlyweds who couldn’t make it were shunned from their social groups and looked down on by most everyone. How did society lose touch with all of this?
I have no on in particular to point a finger at and it makes me mad. I’m not saying that true love doesn’t exist but I do think it’s rare. I also don’t mean to crush anyone’s dreams but I’ve always been a realist and know that this stuff only happens in Nicholas Sparks books. I do hope to find “The One” some day and spend the rest of my life with her but anymore that’s a long-shot at best.
~GENERAL DISCLAIMER~ I’ve decided to post some of my more personal and funny stories on the blog, some of the names have been changed, some haven’t. If it offends you don’t read it, if it involves you please laugh along and if I missed a few details, help me out a bit. ~EX-GIRLFRIENDS, FUTURE EX-GIRLFRIENDS DISCLAIMER~ If one of my stories involves you and offends you I’m sorry, if it’s real bad I’ll take if off here. If it’s too bad I probably won’t even post it. ~Single Friends Disclaimer-Not to worry my friends and readers I’m not going all nut job and starting a cult. Nor am I going to find a hooker just to get married. I simply wanted to say what was on my mind. Rest assured I’ll be back at the bar with you single ones as soon as I can.~
But I think I have an answer: I’m afraid of commitment. Here’s why.
How do you know she’s the “Right One?” I do have regrets maybe one or two that got away could have been “The One” but hind-sight is always twenty-twenty and you forget how annoying someone is when their not around.
Marriage; its huge decision that I’m not sure I’m capable of making. I know that sounds stupid and many people will think I’ve made bigger decisions in other aspects that’ll affect the rest of my life; yet I balk at this decision. I’ve seen so many marriages end in divorce or even worse they just get drawn out over time and it scares the shit out of me. I know that sometimes a divorce is the best choice a person or two people can ever make in their lives. But am I just optioning to not make the previous decision so I’ll never have to choose the decision of divorce?
I honestly think it’s all in my head but I don’t believe in the one marriage lasting a life time tradition anymore. I don’t know if true love like that really exists anymore. I don’t really have any facts to go off of here but just take a look around society these days. There are 24 year olds on their third marriage or there’s 50 year olds taking the oath for the first time. To be honest I’d like to settle down and start a family sometime before age 50, but hell by then is it even worth it? The honeymoon would be a night of Bingo and Viagra.
True love is still out there but I think over the years the strict values of monogamy have been tarnished. People get married for the wrong reasons and don’t fully understand the “In sickness and health, good times and bad” part of the vows. Our grandparents did, that’s why now of days you see couples celebrating their 50th or 75th wedding anniversary. But in fifty years you won’t see that from our generation, instead you’ll see headlines like, “5th time was really a charm” and “Lucky kids finally got it right ten years ago today!”
That’s what the world is coming too. I don’t know the reasons for it but it could be blamed on anything these days. I do think TV has something to do with it as well as the lack of people who regularly attend church. TV has made a mockery of the values and traditions that go into a marriage. Almost to the point that the more ex-husbands or ex-wives you have the better. In the olden days people went to church every Sunday and believed everything the preacher said and held those values close to their hearts.
Now of days people hold their wallets and their IPODs close to their hearts and put material possessions in front of morals and values. Is it because those items determine their social status and that’s what they think will make them happy? Yes. I know people these days; because of TV; put these things in front of everything so they can fit in. Rewind 40 to 50 years ago; people with failing marriages were frowned upon. The newlyweds who couldn’t make it were shunned from their social groups and looked down on by most everyone. How did society lose touch with all of this?
I have no on in particular to point a finger at and it makes me mad. I’m not saying that true love doesn’t exist but I do think it’s rare. I also don’t mean to crush anyone’s dreams but I’ve always been a realist and know that this stuff only happens in Nicholas Sparks books. I do hope to find “The One” some day and spend the rest of my life with her but anymore that’s a long-shot at best.
~GENERAL DISCLAIMER~ I’ve decided to post some of my more personal and funny stories on the blog, some of the names have been changed, some haven’t. If it offends you don’t read it, if it involves you please laugh along and if I missed a few details, help me out a bit. ~EX-GIRLFRIENDS, FUTURE EX-GIRLFRIENDS DISCLAIMER~ If one of my stories involves you and offends you I’m sorry, if it’s real bad I’ll take if off here. If it’s too bad I probably won’t even post it. ~Single Friends Disclaimer-Not to worry my friends and readers I’m not going all nut job and starting a cult. Nor am I going to find a hooker just to get married. I simply wanted to say what was on my mind. Rest assured I’ll be back at the bar with you single ones as soon as I can.~
posted by J at 12:04 PM
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